美本名校申请文书该怎么写？一些优秀例子帮你打开新思路！

文书写作

申请季悄然而至，今天我们来聊一聊申请的重头戏—文书写作，他是鲜明展现“个人形象”的申请材料，也是申请者个性和灵魂的载体，一份优秀的文书通常需要1-2个月的时间仔细打磨，反复润色，才能达到字字珠玑的效果，所以其重要程度显而易见。

一个标化成绩优秀但文书缺乏特色的申请者，难免会给招生官留下boring的印象。那么如何撰写一份好的文书呢？

今天跟大家分享一下美本名校申请中的优秀文书，对正在准备的申请者来说有很大的借鉴价值！！

约翰霍普金斯

“Bring the ace of spades up,” my Grandmother said as we started our first game of solitaire after I got home from school. “Now, put the black eight onto the red nine.” We played solitaire often, working together to reorganize the cards most efficiently. While it was meant to be a single-player game, solitaire was the one thing we did together, moving and dealing the cards in a symphony of order: red to black, red to black. Pulling the pattern out of the random array of cards.

For hours, we sat at our glossy kitchen table, playing game after game. If there were no more moves to make, I would always sneak a card from below a column without my grandma seeing. She always did. I couldn’t understand- What was the big deal of revealing the cards? We might win one out of ten games played. But if we just ‘helped ourselves,’ as I liked to call it, we could win them all. I didn’t understand her adherence to the “Turn Three” rule.

Why not just turn the cards one by one? It was too frustrating to see the cards go by, but turn exactly three and not be able to pick them up! After one game we lost, I asked my grandma, “Why do we play this way? There’s a much better way to play.” In response, she quickly explained her adamancy to the rules, what before had made no sense to me.

Her polished fingernails scratched against the cards as she shuffled them and told me. “Solitaire isn’t just a game for one person.” Her deep brown eyes sharply glanced at me, “No.” It wasn’t just a game for one person, but rather for two sides of a person. It was an internal battle, a strengthening of the mind. One playing against oneself. “If one side of you cheats, how would either side get better?”

Red lipsticked lips slightly grinned as my grandma saw me trying to understand, but I didn’t agree with this thought at once. The cards rhythmically slapped down onto the table as my grandmother, small yet stoic, effortlessly moved the cards with frail hands. I watched her. I thought about any other way to understand this idea.

I desperately wanted to. Trying to think, I couldn’t imagine another instance where this sense of tranquility, bringing the melody of organization out of a cacophony of random cards, came from such intense competition.

The slow manipulation of life around her precedent made me think back to my grandma, to what she told me, and made me understand. Two years later, pushing myself harder than I ever had before in a field hockey match, I realized how much I had been cheating myself and my team by not putting this effort in before.

Four years later, I was helping my parents clean after dinner when I saw the value in not taking the easy way out. Five years later, I found once again the difficult ease in pottery. Lifting the pot off the wheel, I found satisfaction. Looking back, I hadn’t realized that this notion of self-accountability appears in almost every aspect of my life.

Seven columns. Four aces. Fifty-two cards. Laying these down, I’m brought back to playing solitaire with my grandmother. Through time, her inner spirit never crumbled as her body began to deteriorate. Her mind stayed strong and proud. I admired her for that more than she could’ve imagined.

Each challenge I face, or will face, in life, I think back to her lesson one inconspicuous afternoon. Never let myself cheat. Always hold myself accountable. Work hard in every competition, especially the ones against myself, as those are the ones that better me the most. I did not understand what my grandmother meant that day. Now, with each day, I do more.

招生官点评

许多学生希望在大学论文中分享他们生活中重要的人或家庭成员。这样做的挑战是确保论文仍然是关于申请人的，而不仅仅是重要的人。伊丽莎白很好地融入了她的祖母这个重要的人，同时仍然把注意力集中在自己身上，她从那个特定时刻学到了什么，以及这对她的生活有何影响

伊丽莎白一开始关注的是童年经历，但她将其带回到了她的日常生活中，以及她如何将责任感和努力工作贯穿始终。了解伊丽莎白是谁以及她的价值观，有助于我们了解她在校园社区中的身份。她证明了她的努力工作和自我负责的价值观不仅限于单人纸牌游戏，还融入了运动、爱好。

作者向招生官展示了她的个性和她看重的东西。她通过事件向招生官传达了自我负责、努力工作、自我完善的良好品质，这些是很难通过申请的其他方面看到的。

斯坦福大学

For my entire life, I have had the itch: the itch to understand.

As a kid I was obsessed with a universe I knew nothing about. In elementary school, my favorite book was an introduction to fulcrums for kids. Like the Pythagorean who had marveled at the perfect ratios of musical notes, I was enamored with the mathematical symmetries of fulcrums. The book inflamed my itch but I had no means to scratch it.

I was raised a San Francisco Hippie by musicians and artists. I learned to sing the blues before I knew the words I used. Without guidance from any scientific role models, I never learned what it meant to do science, let alone differentiate science from science-fiction. As a kid, it was obvious to me a flying car was equally as plausible as a man on the moon.

When my parents told me my design for a helium filled broomstick would not fly, they could not explain why, they just knew it wouldn’t. My curiosity went unrewarded and I learned to silence my scientific mind to avoid the torture of my inability to scratch the itch.

Then, in Sophomore year, I met Kikki. Before Kikki, “passion” was an intangible vocab term I had memorized. Ever since she lost her best friend to cancer in middle school, she had been using her pain to fuel her passion for fighting cancer. When you spoke to her about oncology, her eyes lit up, she bounced like a child, her voice raised an octave. She emanated raw, overwhelming passion.

I wanted it. I was enviously watching another person scratch an itch I couldn’t.

I was so desperate to feel the way Kikki did that I faked feeling passionate; AP Physics 1 with Mr. Prothro had sparked my old Pythagorean wonder in mathematics so I latched on to physics as my new passion and whenever I talked about it, I made my eyes light up, made myself bounce like a child, purposefully raised my voice an octave.

Slowly, my passion emerged from pretense and envy into reality.

Without prompting, my eyes would light up, my heart would swell, and my mind would clear. One night, I was so exhilarated to start that night's problem set that I jumped out of my seat. I forgot to sit back down. I spent that night bent over at my desk, occasionally straightening out, walking around and visualising problems in my head. Five whiteboards now cover my walls and every night, I do my homework standing up.

Once learning became my passion, my life changed. Old concepts gained new beauty, the blues became a powerful medium of expression. Mathematics became a language rather than a subject. I rocketed from the kid who cried in class while learning about negative numbers to one of two juniors in an 800-person class to skip directly into AP Physics C and AP Calculus BC.

I founded [School] Physics Club, which became one of the largest clubs in the school. Over the summer at Stanford, I earned perfect marks in Ordinary Differential Equations, Energy Resources, an Introduction to MATLAB, and an environmental seminar, all the while completing the Summer Environment and Water Studies Intensive. Now in my senior year, I am earning my AS in Mathematics and Physics at the City College of San Francisco.

As I enter college, the applicability of my field of physics offers me a broad array of high-impact careers. Given that by 2050, 17% of Bangladesh's land will be underwater displacing twenty million people, I have settled on energy resources engineering.
All of this is natural progression from one development - I learned to scratch my itch.

招生官点评

独特的中心隐喻：这篇文章全部基于“痒”的隐喻，代表着了解世界的渴望。通过使用中心主题（例如隐喻），您可以创建贯穿整个论文的想法线索。

具体语言和具体例子：本文没有“讲述”他们的想法，而是通过具体的轶事做了很多精彩的“展示”。像“在我知道歌词之前我就学会了唱布鲁斯……”之类的句子无需直白地表达出来，就能捕捉到很多关于作者的性格和背景的信息。

增加文学“陪衬”：在你的文章中通过描述别人来表现自己的这种方式，被称为文学“陪衬”，通过写你生活中的人，营造一种谦逊和谐的感觉。没有人是一座“孤岛”，这意味着每个人都会受到周围人的影响。展示你如何从他人那里汲取灵感、价值观或教训，比简单地告诉招生人员更能展示你的性格。

哈佛大学

The first word I ever spoke was my name. I was intrigued that my entire identity could be attached to and compressed into such a simple sound. I would tell everyone I met that my name meant “one,” that it made me special because it sounded like “unique.” When I learned to write, I covered sheets of paper with the letters U, N, and A. Eventually, I realized that paper was not enough—I needed to cover the world with my name, my graffiti tag.

This came to a screeching halt in kindergarten. One day in music class, I scratched UNA into the piano’s wood. Everyone was surprised that I tagged my name and not someone else’s. I didn’t want someone else to suffer for my misdeeds. I wanted to take something, to make it mine.

Kindergarten was also the year my parents signed me up for piano lessons, and every aspect of them was torture. I had to learn to read an entirely new language, stretch my fingers to fit challenging intervals, use my arms with enough force to sound chords but not topple over, grope around blindly while keeping my eyes on the music, and the brain-splitting feat of doing this with each hand separately. Hardest was the very act of sitting down to practice. The physical challenges were more or less surmountable, but tackling them felt lonely and pointless.

I only fell in love with music when I found myself in a sweaty church on the Upper West Side—my first chamber music concert, the final event of a two-week camp the summer before sixth grade. I was nervous. My group, playing a Shostakovich prelude, was the youngest, so we went first. My legs shook uncontrollably before, during, and after I played. I nearly became sick afterward from shame and relief.

I was so disappointed that I thought I could never face my new music friends again. From the front row, I plotted my escape route for when the concert finished. But I didn’t run. I watched the whole concert. I watched the big kids breathe in unison, occupying the same disconnected body. I fell in love with music through the way they belonged to each other, the way they saw each other without even looking.

stuck with that chamber camp. In the twenty chamber groups that have made up my last six years, I’ve performed in six-inch heels and nearly fallen off-stage during my bow. I’ve performed in sneakers and a sweatshirt, on pianos with half the keys broken and the other half wildly out of tune, in subway stations, nursing homes, international orchestras, Carnegie Hall, and on Zoom.
Chamber music doesn’t work when everyone aims to be a star; it works when everyone lets everyone else shine through.

It’s more fun that way. A musical notation I rarely saw before playing chamber music is “una corda,” which says to put the soft pedal down and play on only “one string,” usually to highlight another player’s solo. I don’t need to be the loudest to breathe in unison with my friends, to create something beautiful. In that moment, I’m not just Una, I’m the pianist in the Dohnanyi sextet.

I started to love music only when I realized it doesn’t belong to me. I had to stop trying to make piano my own and take pleasure in sharing it. I learned that the rests in my part were as meaningful as the notes; that although my name means “one,” I’d rather not be the “only.”

My favorite compliment I’ve received was that I made an audience member feel like they were sitting onstage next to me. This, to me, is the essence of chamber music. To pull your audience onto the stage, trusting your group isn’t enough—you have to fuse together, to forget you exist. For a few minutes, you have to surrender your name.

招生官点评

尤娜作为一名音乐家的成长经历使得这篇文章颇具意义。她对自己名字有力而内省的陈述立即吸引了读者的注意力。年轻时渴望用自己的名字和涂鸦覆盖世界，作为自我表达的一种形式，这增添了好奇心和个性的元素。

尤娜的文章通过她在不同场合的多样化表演进一步展示了她对音乐的承诺。了解室内乐的协作本质以及她让他人发光发热的意愿，展示了尤娜作为音乐家的成长以及对通过团队合作创造的美的欣赏。

文章的结尾意识到，创造美妙的音乐并不需要成为最响亮的人或明星。她接受与朋友们齐心协力的理念，并在让别人发光发热的过程中找到快乐。这种见解反映了她作为音乐家的成长以及她对合作和共享经验重要性的理解。

作者成功地传达了尤娜的个人旅程、她对音乐的热爱，以及她对协作和无私的变革力量的理解。叙事结构、生动的描述、脆弱性、反思的基调，以及读者感官、反思基调的融合，使文章引人入胜、富有影响力、令人难忘。

宾夕法尼亚大学

Diy smart

指导的有效文书，顺利获得宾大offer

下面给大家分享一下张同学在转学申请中递交的有效文书。

common app 中学校的补充问题：请说明你转学的原因，以及你希望通过在转学学校里获得什么？

十一年级的道德课上，我们讨论了人生的目的，老师问了我一个问题。

首先，我选择社会学作为我的专业是为了深入了解我们是如何走到一起的，我们是如何形成的社会，以及我们如何维护社会。我想找到能创造更美好社会的解决方案。我决定参加波士顿大学，因为它有强大的社会学课程和像大卫·斯沃茨这样的优秀教师。

然而，当我开始学习社会学时，我意识到这门学科并不符合我的期望。尽管我们教授尽最大努力将我学到的理论与现实世界的问题联系起来，但我还是集中在概念上，这与我们作为一个社会所面临的问题是脱节的。

我发现自己渴望更少的东西和更实质性的东西——我可以用来制作的一门学科为什么在每种文化中人们都觉得聚会很重要。除此之外，这个问题一直困扰着我和引导我讨论我最初学习社会学的原因。

我小时候在广州家的附近，不同的文化和传统有很多共同点，但我对人们和社区偏离我们共性的地方很感兴趣。我着迷于我们有如此差异仍可以和谐共存，这可能是人与人之间的冲突，真正的影响着人的变化.

在波士顿大学(Boston University)，我有机会成为“商业骄傲”(Pride in Business)的一员，这是一个支持商界酷儿的俱乐部，在那里，我意识到我可以把我对社会问题的兴趣与我对经济和金融的兴趣结合起来。

例如，我对人们的经济决策所造成的社会影响很感兴趣。经济学

贯穿我们生活的方方面面，每个人都会做出财政决定，而每个决定都会产生涟漪影响着我们的社区。在宾夕法尼亚大学学习经济学将为我提供一个更强大的工具而不是社会学，以实现我的目标，即实施有利于我和周围人民的变革所需要。

现在，把专业转到经济学的决定促使我申请了不同的适合我的项目，会比波士顿大学的金融和经济项目做得更好。

我对宾夕法尼亚大学的经济学项目很感兴趣，班级规模，这将使我能够围绕当代问题进行有意义的对话。我想要我的这些课程迫使我重新思考自己的知识和偏见，在经济学中建立一套强大的工具。

此外，我在宾夕法尼亚大学的教育将使我能够创建和支持创新项目和超越我现在在波士顿大学所受到的挑战。过去的一年，我的课只是在扩展我现有的知识，而不是参与到品牌的新思维方式中。我相信宾夕法尼亚大学是一个可以让我充分探索经济学各个方面的地方指引我走向未来目标的地方。

在宾夕法尼亚大学，我可以通过创新的方式发展我的学科技能。我将站在创新的最前沿并向创业实验室的社会创业领袖学习。沃顿强调领导力和创新使它成为我创造和支持未来可持续发展和社会项目的理想之地造福我们居住的社区。我对进入宾夕法尼亚大学的前景感到兴奋，这是一个我可以做到的机构

结合我在学术之外的各种兴趣，在某个地方我可以把自己淹没在一个艺术社区同时可以继续我的社会倡导工作。

一篇好的文书可以给招生官留下深刻印象，这些优秀文书中有很多共通之处，即在文书中充分表达自己，展示想法；不会赘述事件的始末，更加注重表达事件给予申请人的影响和感受。填补自己的空白；呈现成绩单上无法体现的个性、能力以及其他新奇的情况。展示对生活的热情、思考和好奇心等，全面映射出申请者是一个多面灵动的个体。