被哈佛大学录取的文书长什么样？好在哪里？

相信哈佛大学是很多同学心中的梦校吧！想知道被哈佛大学录取的文书长什么样吗？

哈佛大学校报《The Crimson》每年都会邀请广大新生分享了自己的申请文书，并从中精选出10篇最佳文书进行点评发布。

这些文书代表了哈佛大学招生官所寻求录取的学生的重要品质或特性，非常有参考价值。

今天老师就来分享其中一篇以“跳舞”为主题的文章，跳舞一直是个老生常谈的话题，这位同学表面上是写跳舞，但实际上把自己的内心成长、价值观非常自然地展现了出来，并且联系得非常紧密。

同学们是不是迫不及待地想看这篇文书了呢？来一起来看看吧！

Successful Harvard Essay: Playing it Dangerous

In hazy stillness, a sudden flurry of colored skirts, whispers of “Merde!” Sternly, my fingers smooth back my hair, although they know no loose strands will be found. My skin absorbs heat from stage lights above—if only that heat would seep into my brain, denature some proteins, and deactivate the neurons stressing me out.

A warm hand, accompanied by an even warmer smile, interrupts my frenzied solitude. I glance up. My lovely teacher nods, coaxing my frozen lips into a thawed smile. A complex figure, filled in with doubt, yet finished with shades of confidence: My body takes its place and waits.

One, two, three, four; two, two, three, four. On stage, the lights and music wash over me. Never having had a true ballet solo before, my lungs are one breath away from hyperventilating.

Trying to achieve a Zen-like state, I imagine a field of daisies, yet my palms continue sweating disobediently. It’s not that I’ve never been on stage alone before; I’ve had plenty of piano recitals and competitions.

Yet, while both performances consume my mind and soul, ballet demands complete commitment of my body.

Gently slide into arabesque and lean downward; try not to fall flat on face—Mom’s videotaping. In terms of mentality, I would hardly be described as an introvert; yet, a fear of failure has still kept me from taking risks.

Maybe I was scared of leaping too high, falling too far, and hitting the hard floor. As I moved up in the cutthroat world of dance, this fear only increased; the pressure of greater expectations and the specter of greater embarrassment had held me contained. Now, every single eyeball is on me.

Lean extra in this pirouette; it’s more aesthetic. But is it always better to be safe than sorry? Glancing toward the wings, I see my teacher’s wild gesticulations: Stretch your arms out, she seems to mime, More!

A genuine smile replaces one of forced enthusiasm; alone on the stage, this is my chance to shine. I breathe in the movements, forget each individual step. More than just imagining, but finally experiencing the jubilation of the music, I allow my splits to stretch across the stage and my steps to extend longer and longer, until I’m no longer safe and my heart is racing.

Exhilarated and scared in the best way, I throw myself into my jumps. I no longer need to imagine scenes to get in the mood; the emotions are twirling and leaping within me.

Reaching, stretching, grabbing, flinging ... My fear no longer shields me. I find my old passion for ballet, and remember the grace and poise that can nevertheless convey every color of emotion. Playing it safe will leave me part of the backdrop; only by taking risks can I step into the limelight.

Maybe I’ll fall, but the rush is worth it. I’ll captain an all-male science bowl team, run a marathon, audition for a musical, and embrace the physical and intellectual elation of taking risks.

招生官点评：

Lisa通过她富有创造性的散文描述成功地唤起了读者的真实情感，生动形象的画面、发自内心的感受和心理活动，创造了一篇优秀的文章。将Lisa的经历比作一只被困在封闭笼子里的鸟，笼子就是我们在生活中所面临的恐惧的隐喻。

Lisa的第一部芭蕾舞独舞被出色地诠释为她的“挣脱”，在那一刻，她摆脱了恐惧（打开了她的笼子），并通过深刻的自我反省，选择了接受未来的风险（只向前飞）。

在第 1-3 段中，Lisa她丰富的语言立即吸引了我们，因为她描绘了自己因压力、对失败和公众舆论的恐惧而无法动弹，让人同情并想了解更多。同时她的幽默感完美呈现：想要让她的大脑神经元失活并提醒自己不要先摔倒，以免被她的母亲责骂 。

Lisa将她可爱的老师作为她的舒适区和支持者，这是许多人可以分享的主题。她的焦虑是有相关的，她用它们来解释她的风险规避行为。

在第 4-5 段中，Lisa的独奏被生动地描述为她跳舞中实现转变的决定性时刻——恐惧变成了激情和兴奋。

此刻，她微笑着摆脱恐惧。这里提出了一个尖锐的问题，“但是安全总比后悔好吗？” 通过反省，LIisa表达了她追求冒险的愿望，这将提升她的文章价值观，并且承认并不总是能成功。

Lisa以她将在大学从事的领导角色和活动的具体例子作为结尾，招生人员对渴望走出舒适区并在大学开始新的冒险的学生通常会持正面看法，这也让这篇文章更有说服力。

这篇文章独特的叙事形式写得非常出色，给人一种充满活力、有趣、深刻的体验。

Lisa的价值观贯穿整篇文章：创造力、决心、克服障碍、自我反省、在风险中成长，还有激情！

我们激励学生摆脱这种消极情绪，继续前进并取得更大的成就！