怎么写好托福的独立写作?
在开始讲“怎么写好”之前,很有必要定义一下什么是“好”的独立写作。
没有谁比托福的出题机构ETS更有资格告诉大家什么是“好”的标准。
先做一个扫盲
尽管写作在成绩单上显示的是30分的分数,但是在考官打分的时候其实用的是“原始分”标准。这个“原始分”和最终的“折合分”换算的比例是这样的:见图
所以,下面我们都用考官打分时候的原始分进行讨论。针对独立写作,ETS是这样描述评分标准的。(见下图)
来源:http://www.ets.org/s/toefl/pdf/toefl_writing_rubrics.pdf
这表格左列的分数是原始分,最低是0分最高是5分。这表格右列是对各个分数段作文标准的描述。
在0分那一行,对应的描述是
“An essay at this levelmerely copies words from the topic, rejects the topic, or is otherwise not connected to the topic, is written in a foreign language, consists of keystroke characters, or is blank.”
很明显,这意思是:0分的作文仅仅抄了题目中的词;或者简单地反驳,比如说我不同意,然后就没有然后了;或者写得风马牛不相及;或者不是用英语写的;或者一堆按键符号,比如#¥%&&*;或者干脆空白,啥都没写。
在1分那一行,对应的描述是
这意思是,得1分的文章有这些毛病:就只写了两三句只言片语,完全没有拓展;没有细节,写了些不相干的废话;有严重的句法错误。总之,不知所云。(这类作文,考官直接看不懂,秒过。)
在2分那一行,对应的描述是
这意思是:得2分的文章有这些毛病:
作文写得干瘪,没什么拓展;观点之间没有衔接,思维乱跳;论述不足,例子不足,没把话说开;用词不妥,词汇形式用错;多处出现句子结构崩坏。(批到这种卷子,求考官的心理阴影面积有多大。)
在3分那一行,对应的描述是
这意思是,得3分的文章有这些毛病:
虽然作文写了一些论述和例子,但是写得太少,而且不到位;总算是论点之间有点衔接了,但是衔接得令人费解;句子和词语都写了一些了,但是多处句子写得蹩脚,词语用得诡异,无法清晰达意;句法和词汇单调有限。(这类作文,考官看完会想静静)
在4分那一行,对应的描述是
这意思是,得4分的文章有这些特点:
针对题目,不错的阐述了论点,尽管有些地方阐述得不详细;总体的拓展得挺好,尽管时而有点啰嗦,或者有点跑偏;用词用句灵活多样,尽管有时候犯些无伤大雅的小错误;(这时候的考官已经开始享受阅读这档考生的文章了)
在5分那一行,对应的描述是
这意思是,得5分的文章有这些特点:
论述清晰到位,文章拓展得有理有据,衔接得行云流水,句法词汇使用灵活多样,尽管小错误还是有的,但是可以忽略不计。(考官眼前的世界都瞬间美好了。)
读完这0-5的分数和对应的描述,有没有发现什么被反复强调了的关键呢?
细心的话,不难发现这几个词经常被提及:Development(拓展),Details(细节), Organisation(构架), Cohesion(连贯), Sentence structure(句型), Word choice(用词), Variety(多变)。做到这7个词的作文就是高分文章。
说到这里,有些考生就开始抓狂了,这7个词说得轻巧,但是臣妾做不到啊。于是,接下来搞定如何做到。
一切不拿具体题目讲的方法论都是耍流氓。于是,上考题:
"Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Only people who earn a lot of money are successful. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.”
题目问,是否同意这个观点:“教师和学生处得好 比教师教纯知识 更重要。”
当一道作文题赤果果站在你面前的时候,是不是瞬间变身天秤座了?觉得Agree也有道理,Disagree也有道理,但是无论选哪边都不好办。而且,正在选择综合症的你,这时候已经把刚才的那7个词忘干净了,真的一点残留都没有。
温馨提示,那7个词是Development, Details, Organisation, Cohesion, Sentence structure, Word choice, Variety.
从Development开始,在这里并非发展的意思,而是拓展,让你的思路展开。也就是说,假如我们选择了立场,Disagree, 咱不觉得有钱就是成功,那么必须说说除了钱以外还有什么是成功的衡量标准。这时候就需要开脑洞地思考。其实不难想出来,还有名誉,知识,甚至,爱,或者 大家的尊重。是不是瞬间觉得更有话说了?从中挑选两三个吧,每个都是一个观点,都能写成一段。
这里有一个黄金原则,给观点,必给解释;给解释,必给例子。观点+解释+例子是优秀论述的典型结构。
这就是Detail发挥作用的地方。比如,写“尊重”的那一段:I believe that being respected by coworkers indicates success. (观点)+Without that respect, money means little.
(解释)+For example,I once did some work for a top attorney in a law firm. He made a very good salary, but he wasn’t a nice man. No one ever did work for him willingly. He ordered everyone around, and we didn’t respect him. In contrast, however, I had a wonderful band director in high school. He had to take extra jobs just to make enough money to support his family. However, his students had great respect for him and always listened to what he said. As a result, we were a very good band.
(例子) +As a result,we were a very good band. In my opinion, my band director was more successful than the attorney was.(最好像这样说完例子再温馨提示一下刚才自己的观点)。
于是我们挑3个分观点,名誉,尊重,和知识,足够写成一篇三百多字的文章。顺便这也自然地构成了Organisation,每个观点写一段,再加首尾段就刚好是5个段落,一篇好文。
比如:
Many people believe that a large income equals success.(说趋势) I believe, however, that success is more than how much money you make.(大白话说清楚我的观点) Some of those measures of success include fame, respect, and knowledge.(拓展解释)
Most people assume that famous people are rich people, but that isn’t always true.(分观点一)For example,some day I would like to be a famous researcher. Few scientists are rich by today’s standards.(例子细节) Still I will feel myself to be successful if I am well-known.(解释个人情感)Additionally,there are many famous humanitarians who are not rich. Mother Theresa was one.Certainly, no one would say she was not successful.(例子细节)
I also believe that being respected by coworkers indicates success(分观点二). Without that respect, money means little. (解释)For example,I once did some work for a top attorney in a law firm. He made a very good salary, but he wasn’t a nice man. No one ever did work for him willingly. He ordered everyone around, and we didn’t respect him.(例子细节) In contrast, however, I had a wonderful band director in high school. He had to take extra jobs just to make enough money to support his family. However, his students had great respect for him and always listened to what he said. As a result, we were a very good band.(还是例子细节) In my opinion, my band director was more successful than the attorney was.(重申强调观点)
Finally, I think one of the most important indicators of success is knowledge. (分观点三)Wealthy people don’t know all the answers.(解释)For example,in the movie Good Will Hunting, the only person who could solve some complex problems was the janitor. He knew a lot, and decided what he wanted to do with that knowledge rather than just think about money. (例子细节)In my opinion, he was extremely successful.(重申强调观点)
When we think of history, there are few people that we remember simply because they were rich.(重申强调观点) Overall, we remember people who did something with their lives - they were influential in politics, or contributed to science or art or religion.(总结)If history is the ultimate judge of success, then money surely isn’t everything.(升华)
这一番分析其实已经讲了那7个词中的4个(Development,Details, Organisation, Cohesion),这4个词的基础是母语的组织能力,也就是中学语文作文的思维能力。若要说区别,那就是西方的语文表达更倾向于直白和具象。
(* 部分内容整理自网络)
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