第三文化孩子：一个文化变色龙的自述

I was born in Beijing, attended schools in the states, studied abroad in Seoul, worked in New York, Hong Kong, and now, back in China. I’m what you might call a “Third Culture Kid” (TCK), a global nomad if you will.

我出生在北京，在美国求学，后来到首尔留学，曾在纽约和香港工作。现在，我又回到了中国。我就是大家口中的“第三文化的孩子”（TCK），一个环球游历者（Global Nomad）。

My journey as a TCK began when my parents decided to pull me out of a Chinese public school for education in the states. Call it forward-thinking (or reckless parenting), I was parachuted off at the age of fourteen to a beautiful boarding high school near the ocean with an equally wonderland sounding slogan – school by the sea, Tabor Academy.

我的TCK之旅从我的父母把我从中国的公立学校转学去美国开始。说是前瞻性思维也好，鲁莽的父母也罢，十四岁的时候，我被空投到了一个美丽的临海寄宿中学。这个学校有一个仙境般的标语——海边的学校，泰伯学院。

As one of the first Chinese students in the private boarding school system, I’ve always felt within and without. Yes, I picked up the language and cultural nuances quickly; I mimicked the way American students acted until mimicking became habit, and habit became second nature; I even started dreaming in English. Yet, there was always a part of me that felt foreign.

作为进入寄宿学校体系的第一位中国学生，我时常感到游离。是的，我很快地过了语言关，迅速熟悉了美国文化；我模仿着美国学生的行为，直到模仿成了习惯，习惯成了自然；我甚至开始在梦里说起了英语。然而，我还是感觉自己无法完全融入国外的环境。

It wasn’t until I read about a term coined “1.5 generation” or the “1.5ers” did I start to understand my lingering feeling of alienation. In 1999, UCLA anthropologist Kyeyoung Park first used this term to describe the growing Korean population in the states.

直到我读到一个词“1.5代人”或“1.5类人”，我才开始明白为什么我会有挥之不去的疏离感。1999年，UCLA的人类学家Kyeyoung Park第一次使用这个词来描述在美国逐渐增长的韩国人口。

Dr. Rubén G. Rumbaut conducted further research in 2004 on Americans growing up abroad and assessed their language ability, education and career. Rumbaut’s results showed that a new term is needed to describe those who are neither first nor second generation immigrants in order to pinpoint the complexity of this group. Then, according to sociologist David C. Pollock, the term “Third Culture Kid” (TCK) is introduced to describe a person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside the parents’ culture.

2004年，Rubén G. Rumbaut博士对在国外长大的美国人的语言能力、教育和职业生涯进行了进一步的研究。Rumbaut的研究结果表明，为了准确描述那些既不是第一代移民也不是二代移民的群体的复杂性，我们需要一个新的名词。之后，社会学家David C. Pollock提出了“第三文化的孩子”（TCK）这一概念，用来描述在非祖国环境下度过了自身的重要发展阶段的群体。

Finally, I belong to a group after all.
终于，我有了属于自己的群体。

In the increasingly globalized world we live in, TCKs are not uncommon. Yet, optimizing your life as a TCK does not come easily. As I navigated in different communities, friends back home would comment that I’ve turned into an ABC (American born Chinese) while friends stateside would ask why I’m so obsessed with ramen and Korean drama. At times, remarks could be flattering and well-intentioned: “wow, you sound like a native English speaker!”; but at times, they could also be hurtful and offensive.

在我们生活的这个日益全球化的世界中，TCK并不少见。然而，作为一个TCK，美好的生活却来之不易。我经常穿行在不同的社交圈内，家乡的朋友见到我，会说我已经变成了一个ABC（美国出生的华人），美国的朋友则会问我为什么如此痴迷拉面和韩剧。有时，评论可能是善意的赞美：“哇，你的英语听起来像母语一样地道！“但有时，也有可能是伤害和冒犯。

I tried to find my comfort zone among different groups, somewhat awkwardly. I allocated my time carefully to sit with American friends in the dining room, but mingled with international students in the academic center. In the process, I became more aware of my surroundings and myself. It was as if I adopted the skills of a chameleon, except that my specialty is not color, but culture.

我努力尝试在不同的群体中找到我的舒适区，这过程中难免会有尴尬的时候。我小心翼翼地抽出时间和美国朋友在餐厅里聊天，和国际学生在学术中心交流。在这个过程中，我对自己和周围的环境有了更多的认识。就好像我有变色龙的技能一样，只不过我变化的不是颜色，而是文化。

Then, college rolled around and my wish to meet more TCKs was eventually granted. At Princeton, I met Aditi, who was born in Mumbai but grew up in Hong Kong and studied in the UK; I befriended Sam, who spoke six languages and attended 10 different schools across the world; I connected with Brian, who grew up in Egypt, lived in Bermuda, Malaysia then Brazil, but referred to himself as a “diehard Canadian”.

之后，我进入了大学，想要遇见更多TCK的愿望也随之达成。在普林斯顿，我遇到了Aditi，她出生在孟买，在香港长大，在英国上学；我结识了山姆，他会说六种语言，参加了横跨全世界的10个不同的学校；我认识了布瑞恩，他在埃及长大，住在百慕大群岛，马来西和巴西，但却把自己称作是一个“顽固的加拿大人”。

Like me, they struggled to answer questions such as “so where are you really from?” (hmm…do you mean my nationality? Where I was born? Where I live now? Or where my parents live?). They also once wondered whether life would be different to truly belong somewhere. But eventually, we all came to the conclusion that instead of trying to fit into one, it is our unique privilege and blessing to embrace many.

像我一样，他们很努力地想回答这样的问题，“你从哪里来？”（“嗯……你是说我的国籍吗？”我出生在哪里？我现在住哪里？或者我父母住在哪里？）他们也曾想过，如果只呆在某一个地方，生活会不会很不一样。但最终，我们都得出这样的结论：与其努力地适应一个环境，不如利用我们的优势去拥抱更多不同的文化。

As I work with the next generation of students who eagerly prepare for education opportunities abroad, I envision their roads ahead as budding TCKs who blossom into leaders of tomorrow. BBC’s recent report indicates that in a future world dominated by automation, the most sought-after and irreplaceable skills are: creativity, communication, and building complex human relationships.

我平常会跟希望去国外深造的下一代们一起工作，想象着这些还在人生萌芽阶段的TCKs一步步绽放成为未来的领袖。英国广播公司（BBC）最近的报告指出，在由自动化主宰的未来世界中，最受欢迎且不可替代的技能是：创造力、沟通能力和建立复杂的人际关系的能力。

Interestingly, TCKs are born into an environment naturally conducive to the development of these core competencies. Of course, there would be feelings of displacement and loneliness, but the possibilities for the future are endless as TCKs choose to be whoever they want, wherever they go, bearing in mind that home is where the heart is. To me, they are truly the citizens of the world.

有趣的是，TCK出生在一个原本就对发展这些核心竞争力大有裨益的环境中。当然，会有游离和孤独的感觉，但TCK的未来充满了无限的可能，他们可以选择他们想要的东西，想去的地方，而把家，深深的埋藏在心底。对我来说，TCK才是真正的世界公民。

Being a TCK has given me a sense of freedom. My many colors as a chameleon are a storyboard of who I am. I feel grateful for the experiences I’ve had as I gradually built myself an identity that is a collection of pieces, each of which I’ve handpicked – some Chinese, some American, some Korean…all of which not mutually exclusive, but seamlessly complementary to form all of me. Being a TCK doesn’t mean that I don’t belong to any particular place; it means I choose to belong to many.

成为TCK给了我自由的感觉。我这个变色龙的每一种颜色都在讲述着我的故事。我非常感激过往的这些经历，是它们塑造了我的个性，一些中国的、一些美国的、一些韩国的，等等，每一面都是我精心挑选的。所有这些都不会相互排斥，而是无缝互补形成了我的所有。作为一个TCK并不意味着我不属于任何地方，TCK意味着我可以选择更多。

给TCK们的建议面对跨文化沟通你有成为有效沟通者的天然优势请练习你天生的敏锐观察能力当你感到孤独没有归属感的时候多关注相似性，少看差异伟人们，像孙中山、奥巴马都是TCK

这有没有让你感觉好一些呢诚实当你真诚地对待他人和自己时你会感到更自在不要逼迫自己去融入某个圈子请给“你来自哪里”这个问题准备一个简短的答案和一个长答案根据提问者来选择答案你真正的朋友非常有可能也是TCK因为相似会让人们产生好感你将面临更复杂的关系即：时区，语言，文化等等所以更重要的是付出努力去维护你的关系给TCK父母的建议（父母不是TCK）不要将你自己的价值体系强加到你的孩子身上请学会欣赏这些差异当你反对并且想要改变差异的时候

请先试着去理解它们如果可能的话给自己营造一个跟孩子相仿的环境这样你可以更好地理解你的孩子例如，当你的孩子开始在国外学习或进入国际学校时

你可以学习一下英语为开放的沟通营造一个安全的环境请认真倾听不要做任何评论也不要太快提供解决方案

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本期作者NiniNini融尚私塾创始人 & 首席独立教育顾问